Its 5th July, Monday. School's gonna start in few hours. However, I just got home from walking along town the whole night and having no fun singing at Kbox. This heavy heart is bringing me down to the lowest. I cant believe this is happening. I cant believe all the thing we've been thru, or rather, I have been thru has become history. You claimed it was beautiful, you claimed you loved. What's going on now? You just leave me to die like this. What did I do? I just dont fucking get it. Yes, I'm tired from trying, but I've yet gotten myself ready to let go. In fact, I never did want to let go. You forced me to. You were so cold towards me, you hardly even bother. What on earth am I supposed to do?

I have completely no mood for school. I'm feeling too awful to even do anything. The last time I felt this was perhaps 7 years back, when my first boyf ditched me for other girl. Is that what its happening?

I could die of misery right now. I miss u so much but you dont even fucking give it a damn. Yes, that is it. You threw me away for the second time. Dumb, just dumb.

='(

Its half time for Spain and Paraguay, short update perhaps.

Prior to the match, I finally decided to do myself a slight favor. I kept baby tigger in a storage box, instead of resting it on my bed. Afterall, the sight of it reminds me of him. Hah. Also, gotten rid or anything related in my laptop and mobile phone, except mobile number of cos. See, I'm trying my best.

As for JR, time and time again I let him down. I dont know, but honestly I dont think I'm at fault? Everyone deserve a choice I reckon. I chose not to give it a try. Despite telling him that from the very beginning, he doesnt really seem to get it. Penny for a thought, I wish T rejected me and like I rejected JR. Things would have been much much easier. It wouldn't have caused so much pain.

It's Sunday! Karaoke and mini shopping for school stuffs tomorrow with Jx and L. Monday, school time. I'm not happy about the trainers at all, except for a few and of cos my eye candy, Mr Paul! hehe. Well, he's like Brad Pitt, old but charismatic.

Thats all for tonight, GO SPAIN GO!

42 Below, 7 different flavours of Vodka. Awesome hot bods.
JR asked for movie a dinner. Rejected for the 4th time.
Bumped into Rickson while closing bar. Asshole, laughed at me for wearing skirt.
Tipsy, me and shah walked into glass door.
Forbidden City, S came to look for me.
Usual arguments with J. convo ignored, always ended with 'bye'.
L msged, encourages me to give up due to my utter emo-tweets.
Mixed emotions, S cheered me up. Almost cried but tears held back.
I let myself away on the dance floor, I kicked a guy out of angst.
I left the place early to Balestier, wab gathering.
R, E, A, was there. Safe and sound. A lil' heartbroken.
Left for home, shagged.

Lesson learnt: No sleep, no drinks. Angry, dont dance. Last but not least, dont disturb a person's rest.

Outcome: I lost myself. I have never wanted to quit smoking, let alone quitting for someone. Howver, I wanted to quit for u. You dont want me to club, I'll stop. I was willing to change to anything you want me to be. Apparently, even this doesnt work.

Special thanks to S. I hope to see you tomorrow. =)

World Cup fever.

Nothing fascinating, really. However, it's a good thing it happened now. Due to unplanned term break, I practically live life day by day. Pathetic, totally.

Having said so, time flies, and school's starting really soon. When it does, everything have to be forced back to usual square. Honestly, I'm lost. I have no idea what to expect after 6 months. Where do I wanna do my intern at? What i wanna do? Which department do I wanna be at? Completely no idea. Doomsday, yea.

I dont know what else to blog, nothing else are important for now.

Dreamcatcher, is all i'm yearning for. WHERE TO GET IT?!

Just like anyone else, I start thinking when I'm walking down the streets alone. I lost myself. Mychelle 1 yr back and Mychelle now is completely two different person. Mychelle used to be full of aspiration, but now, she's living life day by day. Disappointing. Even mom's disappointed in her. Fuck, she needs to be found, be slapped and she needs to wake up, right now.

Damn, but where should I start? ='(

Full of rage. Urgh.

You can ignore my feelings, I'm fine. It's ok becos I'm willing to listen. But please, dont take it for granted. I fucking hate the way you talk to me in the car, like I fucking owe you. PLEASE, dont do this. It's just fucking unfair.

SIGH. FML for being nice. YES, FML.

Past one week was crazy. So many things happened, so much learnt. Whether or not its a good thing, at least everyone is sure of what exactly is going on. Complicated it might be, somehow one faithful day it will all be resolved. It's either someone gets someone, or no one gets anyone. Simple.

Tonight especially, was like a game of match it! Where everything was placed on the table, we matched every single details to reveal an ugly conclusion. Disappointed, of cos, but it definitely was a kind of relief, all the assumptions and questions resolved. I felt like let a massive weight off my chest. However, since it's already happened, why brood over it? Let bygones be bygones, and move on. That's life.

Truly, actions always speak louder than words. For the act he did, that showed how much she mean to him. It's not a bad thing. For my part, I'm done with it. Hurt or not, it's already over. I gave my blessings, and hope he finds her, wherever she might be. That definitely was a harsh but noble move. However, i believe many people hope they'd patch things up. They would be so happy. Hence, all the best!

This incident has taught us all a lesson- Cherish your loved ones before its too late. Well, I certainly hope it's not too late for him though.

I've regretted mine, and there is nothing I could do about it. Hence, reckless actions is not wise.


Till then, good night!